We all know the feeling. That gnawing sense that something isn't quite right in a relationship, but we're afraid to look directly at it. We tiptoe around difficult conversations, hoping the uncomfortable truth will somehow resolve itself. Yet there's something remarkable that happens when we finally face what we've been avoiding: even when the truth breaks our heart, we often feel profoundly relieved.
This paradox reveals something essential about human nature. We are, at our core, lovers of truth. Not just comfortable truths, but all truths — even the ones that shatter our carefully constructed stories about how things should be.
The Red Latifa: Our Lion-Hearted Truth-Seeker
In the Diamond Logos tradition, we recognize different essential qualities within us that guide our unfoldment. The Red Latifa embodies our natural love for truth, our courage to face difficult realities, and our capacity for discrimination. It's what gives us lion-hearted strength to look at what we'd rather avoid.
When we're stuck in a position — defending some belief about ourselves or clinging to how we think things should be — the Red Latifa comes in and says, "Wait a second. Why am I avoiding looking here? What am I afraid of?" It gives us the courage to challenge not just others' positions, but our own philosophies and fixed ideas.
This isn't the aggressive challenging we might do in arguments. This is the gentle but firm courage to turn toward our own experience and ask: "What's really happening here?" It's like going for a hike in the mountains — there's something a little bit dangerous about it, but we're curious and we feel drawn to go a little further, to take that psychological risk.
"Sometimes in a relationship we want to know, 'Is it finished? Is the relationship over?' And maybe the other person is tiptoeing around it and then they say, 'Yes.' And then we feel heartbroken and relieved and happy that we know the truth."
Why Avoidance Creates More Suffering
When we don't look at something that needs our attention, it doesn't disappear. Our avoidance itself becomes a powerful force that shapes our behavior. We might avoid that person because we don't want to face a certain issue. We act differently, create distance, build walls. The very thing we're trying not to deal with ends up controlling us anyway.
Sometimes we're afraid there's a deficiency in us, some limitation we don't want to acknowledge. But here's what's fascinating: when we don't look at it directly, we still feel that something is wrong with us. The difference is that now it's haunting us from the shadows instead of being something we can actually work with.
The Red Latifa operates like a sword, discriminating and separating all the elements of our experience. It helps us see clearly: "This is my super-ego talking. This is my ego defending. This is what the other person actually said versus what I'm making it mean." This discriminating clarity is essential for genuine self-inquiry.
Liberation Through Difficult Truth
There's something profound that happens when we stop tiptoeing around reality and face it directly. We discover that we are freed by truth, even when it's painful. The truth is very beautiful in whatever form it comes, because it's liberating.
"We are freed by the truth, even if it's a painful truth. We are freed. Then we can move on. The truth is very beautiful in whatever form it comes."
When we finally know that the relationship is over, yes, we feel heartbroken. But we also feel relieved and even happy to know the truth. Now we can move forward authentically instead of living in limbo. The truth gives us solid ground to stand on, even when that ground isn't what we hoped it would be.
This love for truth isn't masochistic — it's practical wisdom. When we know what's actually happening, we can respond appropriately. When we're living in denial or avoidance, we're constantly out of step with reality, which creates ongoing friction and suffering.
Heart and Mind Working Together
The Red Latifa doesn't operate only as mental analysis. It works through heart and mind together. The heart loves the truth, loves the adventure of finding out who we are and what's really happening. Meanwhile, the mind provides the capacity to discriminate and articulate what we're discovering.
This isn't the ego mind that already thinks it knows everything. This is the Diamond Body mind that says, "Let's see what happens this time," staying curious and open rather than imposing predetermined outcomes. It's like a scientist taking notes on an unfolding experiment, one step behind the experience, allowing space for genuine discovery.
The next time you notice yourself avoiding something that feels too difficult to face, you might ask: What would it be like to bring some gentle courage to this situation? What truth might be waiting here that could actually set you free?